


Family Ties

by Otome_Miss (Miss_Marvelous)



Series: Family Ties (Saeran/MC(Reader) Angst) [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger, Saeran Choi - Fandom, Saeran Choi/MC - Fandom, Saeran Choi/Reader - Fandom, mysme - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pregnancy, Romance, Unrequited
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-03-14 15:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13593318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Marvelous/pseuds/Otome_Miss
Summary: Saeran is attempting to deal with unrequited feelings for you after your marriage to Saeyoung. You are carrying around a secret that needs to be revealed





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Set after 707's secret end. 
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of abuse, mental illness, drugging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Content Warning: Mentions of throwing up

He had worked so hard to get himself straightened out. After everything he’d been through- his childhood, Saeyoung ’s disappearance, Rika’s abuse, the drugs he’d been fed by her under the guise of ‘salvation,’ Saeyoung’s reappearance, the hospital stays, the hours of therapy, and eventually even some medication that FUCKING DID WHAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO DO. Saeran felt like he was finally starting to experience some of that life Saeyoung had promised him was possible.

He so badly wanted you to be part of these new possibilities and, in a sense you were, but not as he had hoped. You were his brother’s wife now. His sister-in-law for a year and still every time he rounded the corner to the kitchen and found you standing there with a cup of coffee in hand his heart felt like it would explode in his chest. You were the brightest, gentlest person he’d ever known and you were family now. His family-even though he knew his feelings weren’t really of a familial nature. Before, he wouldn’t have cared that his brother was in love with you. If he wanted you- you could damn well bet- he would’ve done everything in his power to have you. However, now when things had become so stable and so foreign and…good. He couldn’t bring himself to act on these feelings. Anytime he even thought of you in a way he shouldn’t Saeyoung’s tear stained face screaming at him to come home again appeared in his minds eye. Your smiling face as you’d visited him during his recovery with such pure intentions would haunt the edges of the thoughts he shouldn’t have about you. He couldn’t destroy this. This home. His home. Your home.

He had two emotional outlets for these feelings. The first: he was fiercely protective of you, going even farther than your own husband at times. Which meant any insignificant fight between you and Saeyoung and he was on your side, much to Saeyoung’s annoyance. Even when debating things like a takeout menu, Saeran’s answer always seemed to match up to yours. He knew Saeyoung had caught onto that by now but, he hoped it just got interpreted as him trying to piss his older twin off, rather than being indicative of deeper feelings. The second outlet was something much more immature and he was aware of it but, he still couldn’t seem to control it. He was a surly and had a bad attitude towards you at times, especially when the unrequited feelings were really stinging him. You never seemed to take it to heart though. He wished you would because then it would’ve been easier to keep up that act. As it stood, this method was becoming less and less affective for dealing with these things.

When he awoke one morning to the sound of you vomiting in the bathroom inside the bedroom you and Saeyoung shared- he dove out of his bedroom, scrambling down the hall- just barely managing to drag his sweatpants on before reaching the bedroom door. Saeyoung wouldn’t be home until tonight because of a business trip. He cursed his brother half heartedly. Saeyoung should be the one coming to aid you, not him. “MC…” He started, hovering outside the locked bathroom door. A gurgle and more retching were his only reply. “MC!? Its Saeran…” _Of course it is you idiot. What a useless thing to say._ “C-can I help?” _What the hell could he do? What did you do for someone puking their guts out so violently?_ Especially someone as gentle and, in his eyes, fragile as you were. _What if something was seriously wrong? What if you couldn’t reply?_ This was going to give him a heart attack. When you still hadn’t answered Saeran banged his fist on the door. “MC? I’m coming in.” Still his hand hesitated over the handle of the door. What if you weren't…clothed or in one of those silky little nightgowns? _Dear god the last thing he wanted to do was be having those thoughts when you might seriously need him._ A whimper from the other side of the door silenced all thoughts and Saeran slammed himself unnecessarily hard through the door.

He found you curled up in a fetal position forehead pressed to the cool tile floor (clothed, thank god), sick still lingering in the toilet bowl. “S-Saeran…I’m okay…” You managed to croak out. “I just got so nauseated all of a sudden after waking up.“ Your eyes were squeezed closed and he picked his way closer to you, hands clenching and unclenching. He was not good at this sort of thing. "Fuck. MC…you look terrible….I mean…” He panicked knowing how harsh he could sound. You cracked open one eye and gave him an exasperated look. “It’s fine. But since I look so horrible can you try helping me up?”

Finally something he could do without words fucking up his intentions. He came closer trying not to notice that you were dressed only in one of Saeyoungs shirts with a pair of his pajama pants on. _You must be missing him_. That knowledge caused his chest to pulse with a twisting, jealous pain. The red head ignored it and wrapped his arms firmly under yours, hoisting you up slowly. You felt so soft against him-it was driving him insane. You managed to get your legs under you and he helped you to the edge of the bed. He returned to the bathroom and flushed. Then he grabbed the cup you kept for water off the bathroom sink and fumbled with the tap until it ran cold. He carried you back the cup and held it out to you. “D-do you think you’ve got the flu or something?” You shook your head and he could feel his anxiety rising. _How could you know? You were just puking your guts out in there!_ “W-well you can’t know that for sure! You were just. We need to get you to a doctor right now. I’ll drive so just-” He was getting flustered, fingers dragging through his tangled mess of hair. The only skills he had at taking care of someone sick had come from the countless times you and Saeyoung had cared for him. Whether he was sick from anxiety attacks, flashbacks, or something physical the pair of you always found the right way.

He felt a gentle hand on his arm making his building frustration halt. His cool gaze swung to yours- confused. “Saeran calm down. I already know what’s going on with me. It’s normal. Not fun but, normal. I didn’t want to say anything until Saeyoung got home tonight but I know you’re worried. I’m just…not sure how well this is going to go over with your brother…or maybe even you…” You worried your bottom lip between your teeth. Saeran hated the feeling building in the pit of his stomach. All the things his mind were conjuring in response to your words were a thousand possibilities-none of them ending well for you. Then there was the voice in the corner of his mind reminding him of all the reasons why she might be afraid of his reaction specifically. “Just spit it out already. I can always lock myself in my room until Saeyoung gets home if you’re that worried for your own safety…” Despite himself, venom had managed to creep its way into his words. There was a bitterness to remembering you might be afraid of him endangering you. _Did you still see him as he was two years ago? Dangerous and willing to strike at the slightest bit of conflict or discomfort?_

“Saeran.” Your voice was so firm it surprised him. “I am not afraid of you. I am afraid of hurting you because…what I say is going to change things. Not everything…but things have been so good for you and Saeyoung.” He looked at you, too confused for horror. “I'm…pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updated 12/24/18- Just fixed a few typos and grammar errors. Added one sentence to making Saerans thought process a bit more clear. Added italics to Saeran's inner monologues. 
> 
> Thank you for all the love and support! This series just hit over 100 kudos and I'm looking forward to posting more chapters soon!


	2. Part II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung returns home to surprising news and Saeran offers MC some reassurance while struggling with his own jealously.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings:   
> -pregnancy

Saeyoung was dead tired. This trip hadn't been the most successful. Running a business like the toy store was hard in a way that hacking hadn't been. He was constantly making sure he wasn't blowing the cover that he'd given himself, you, and Saeran. If he was careful you could all live a normal happy life together…but if he slipped up, it could mean disaster for all of you. In a business where networking was key, this posed a challenge for the redhead. It constantly reminded him that he still couldn't be himself out in the world. 

However, his greatest consolation was you. With you he could be himself. He'd missed you so much this trip. You'd tried to come with him but, he'd asked you to look after Saeran. Even though the younger twin had been doing well recently…he couldn't stand the idea of his brother being alone. 

As he was packing his bags in the hotel room his phone suddenly lit up. "Is it my honey?" He mused aloud, grabbing the phone from its resting place on the nightstand. It wasn't you, it was Saeran. Instantly the red-head felt his shoulders tense. Saeran rarely texted him, despite his many attempts to goad him into doing so. He opened the message and it read:  
"You better not give MC any trouble tonight. If you're in a crap mood and are tempted to push her away, I'll kick your ass for hurting her. She needs you right now."  
Before he could even think he was dialing your number. It rang until it went to voicemail. What the hell was going on? 

He threw his suitcase together as fast as he could and checked out of the room- keeping his responses at the checkout desk curt. He didn't have time to waste energy on anything but trying to solve whatever problem was happening back at home. But how could he solve it if he didn't have the answer? And why weren't you picking up your phone? He had rung you a dozen times now and Saeran another dozen. Saeran never picked up…but you always did. What on earth could you be doing? Saeyong considered stopping to hack into the home camera's but it would take some time considering all he had on him this trip were his phones and that would mean being home later. If you needed him then it was better to be there in person as quickly as possible. 

The tires of his car squealed as he parked it messily in its usual parking space in the bunker's garage. He definitely pushed the boundaries of safe driving to arrive back home. The red-head was out of the car in an instant. He swung open the door to the living room and marched inside- steeling himself for anything. A war zone. Instead, he was greeted by the smell of a home cooked meal. His favorite- and it was definitely your cooking and not Saeran's. He could hear you humming tunelessly in the kitchen. "MC! My soulmate 606! Where are you? The Defender of Justice needs his source of power!" His tone was light and joking. Whatever it was couldn't have been bad if you were able to cook like this right? He heard something drop in the kitchen as soon as his little speech was finished. He rushed in and found you frozen watching the doorway like you were waiting for him. The wooden spoon you'd been using to stir the pot had fallen to the floor. "S-Saeyoung…" You managed to stutter out. "Welcome home. I thought I'd have a little more time to have everything ready." 

He stood on the other side of the kitchen feeling like a hole had opened up between you two suddenly. You were so nervous to see him and not in a good way- he could tell that, at least. He crossed the room refusing to let that hole in his mind's eye come into existence. He reached out, took you in his arms and you let him. He felt you relax into his touch, much to his relief. "It's good to be home, MC." Saeyoung said, voice vibrating deep in his chest. "But…tell me what's wrong."  
Silence.  
Then a small whimper.  
"Saeyoung…I'm afraid you'll try to pull away again when I tell you. That's why I wanted to make a nice dinner and try to…" Your words trailed off. He could feel his shoulders muscles knotting and tension building up his neck. He'd probably have an awful tension headache later but right now the only thing he cared about was hearing the truth. He couldn't even deny that he might pull away temporarily. It was his way of dealing with things and though he was getting better at letting you and Saeran in…his defense mechanism had not been completely forgotten. "MC I promise that even if whatever you says has me confused…even if I pull away…I will always come back."  
He felt you brace yourself and then heard the words that would invert everything in his world.  
"Saeyoung we're pregnant. I mean- I'm pregnant." 

Saeran scrubbed furiously against his scalp trying to work through the conversation he had with you in the bedroom earlier. 

_"Saeran, I'm pregnant." Your voice wavered like you were delivering news of a fatal illness. Saeran couldn't understand why. Hadn't you and Saeyoung wanted children at some point? Why weren't you happy?_

_His voice came out soft in reply to your distress, "Is that a bad thing?"_

_Your reply was even more confusing. "I don't know." You lifted your eyes finally meeting his. His stomach flipped at the warring emotions he saw in your gaze. "W-what if Saeyoung isn't happy? What if he…doesn't want a baby? It wasn't like we were even planning for one right now. He just started working on the store and everything is new and good right now. This will change everything…"_

_He understood now. She was afraid of losing Saeyoung. That idiot. He'd pushed her away too many times and made her worry unnecessarily. He'd watched Saeyoung do it throughout his relationship with MC. With time, it had become less and less of an issue. Saeyoung had learned to stay open without curling back into himself. He knew, though, that if presented with something stressful enough his brother might regress. His first reaction could be to push her away. He didn't want to watch her struggle with that pain alone._

_"My brother can be an idiot MC." Saeran started carefully. "But…if you want the baby, he'll want the baby. If he steps out of line…we'll put him back." He'll put him back, for you._

_You'd pulled him into your arms at that point. He was worried you'd be able to feel his heart banging against his chest. He'd pulled away quickly but when he'd looked over, afraid he might've hurt your feelings, you were just smiling softly at him. He knew he hadn't been able to erase your worry completely but if you were smiling, it meant he had done something right._

~  
Later, when he'd heard Saeyoung come inside he'd gotten in the shower. He wanted to give you both privacy. He wanted to scrub away the jealousy that kept gnawing at him. He wanted to stop picturing how it would've felt to be in Saeyoung's place. 'Saeran…I'm pregnant. We're having a baby.' Your eyes sparkling up at him in his imagination as you uttered the words he never realized he'd be desperate to hear. 

Through the muffling sound of the water he heard something. At first, he thought it was nothing- just a trick of his own nerves. Whatever it was started getting louder until he realized it was raised voices. He slammed his hand down on the faucet handle to turn the water off and scrambled out of his shower. He was throwing his clothes on and running out the door of his bedroom barely dressed for the second time that day.


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Saeyoung's reaction to the news surprises Saeran but, darker feeling are lurking in both their hearts as they come to grips with a future they never imagined for themselves.

Saeran arrives in the kitchen to see 707 towering over you. He's about to rush over when Saeyoung suddenly takes you up into his arms and spins you around- continuing to yell. Now that its not muffled, Saeran realizes that this isn't voices raised in anger. "Are you sure MC? You're 100% sure?" Saeyoung sounds half frantic, voice still raised but his expression is one of pure happiness. 

Saeran feels a mix of relief and to his shame, disappointment. Had he really thought he'd be the one to comfort you and defend you against Saeyoung's confusion and withdrawal? He turned, cheeks blazing- he wasn't meant to be a part of this moment. It felt like he was intruding upon an intimate moment shared by two lovers. Before he could disappear Saeyoung spotted him and began yelling in his direction. "S-Saeran! Did you hear?! I'm going to be a father and you're going to be an Uncle! Is that what that call earlier was all about? Uncle Saeran already looking out for his baby niece!"   
MC laughed, "How do you even know its going to be a girl?" Saeyoung smiled, "Father's intuition!" MC's laugh echoed in the small kitchen. Saeran's chest felt warm, as he thought 'This is what a real family feels like. This is how its supposed to be- a mother and father happy to have a child. A father who, though he may be afraid or anxious, supported the mother and showed her a smile.' He and Saeyoung had never had that. In this moment, he was amazed at how Saeyoung even seemed to know what was right. He knew his brother well enough to know that he couldn't be completely free from anxiety. Still, somehow Saeyoung was managing to be what MC needed at this moment. He really had changed since meeting her. They both had. Even in realizing this, he knew that the jealousy wouldn't disappear and neither would the darkness he still felt festering in the corners of his insides but, for a while at least, he could step into the light. When he came back to the moment he found MC's eyes fixed on him with gentle concern, 

"Are you all right Saeran? I know the change might be strange but-"   
"MC. I'm fine. I'm actually…really happy."   
Saeyoung chuckled, "What's gotten into you bro? I don't know if I've ever heard you use the word 'happy' un-ironically." 

Saeran felt his cheeks getting red again. Damn Saeyoung- pointing something like that out. He couldn't really bring himself to be that annoyed with his brother right now, especially after his next words. "But…thanks Saeran. That means a lot, to both of us."   
Saeyoung gently patted his brother on the shoulder. "How about Saeran and I finish up dinner and you go rest on the couch? I definitely need to make sure you're not overdoing it now." Saeyoung's tone was light but, his twin felt the tension that lay beneath his playful tone. He thought Saeyoung probably wanted a minute to process everything without MC seeing his true reaction. "Saeyoung…Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't do things." She said but, she still looked tired from being sick that morning. "Humor me." Her husband said softly and MC couldn't refuse any longer so she made her way to the living room, just out of earshot. As soon as Saeyoung was sure she was gone his expression changed drastically. He remained in place, head bowed and jaw clenched. It was painful to watch. Saeran went over to the counter and began slicing potatoes for the roast MC had been cooking. "Come on Daddy Saeyoung- or dinner will never get done." He knew provoking his brother would help him focus his emotions somewhere other than inward. "Shut up." He mumbled, joining Saeran at the counter.   
"You do have a choice you know, you could tell her how you're really feeling. Maybe she would consider…not having the baby."   
Saeran's chest tightened as he spoke those last words. He knew MC wanted to keep it but, giving his brother some kind of 'out' might help him get a grip on what was happening. "No. She can't. Its too late now…" Saeyoung said softly, "Besides, she wants it. I can tell." Saeran moved to put the potatoes in the boiling water thinking over his next question carefully. "What do you want though?" Saeyoung's hands stilled and balled themselves into fists. "I want….I want to have a family with her but, Saeran, we both know what our family was like, what our mother was like. I don't…I don't feel like I deserve to be a father or that I could even hope to be a good one." Saeran could feel his twin's mood darkening. "She…MC…she should be with someone who could give her that without the baggage and complications I have." Saeran knew it was going to come back around to this. "But MC wants you. You've tried to push her away in the past. Tried to change her mind, when has that ever worked for the two of you? All it does is hurt her and hurt you. MC isn't dumb…I'm sure she can sense there's something more going on in your head than unbridled joy. If you don't tell her you're going to run the risk of royally fucking things up Saeyoung." 

Saeyoung was shaking his head, trying to fight his brothers words. They made too much sense but his instinct was to hide, to show MC the face she wanted to see. He had avoided answering Saeran's question up until now. What did he want? In his heart of hearts, in the most selfish part of his being, he wanted the baby. He wanted a whole family but, was that enough to become a good parent? "Saeran…when did you start making so much sense?" His voice was gentle as a small genuine smile appeared on his lips. "Do you really…think I could do it?" 

Saeran paused slicing more potatoes to think his reply through. There was no point in bullshitting Saeyoung. Fake reassurance was never going to work for either of them. "I…don't know. Like you said, our enviorment didn't really prepare either of us for this sort of thing. I trust MC's judgement though…she's a much better judge than either of us. If she thinks you can do it…well I think we should believe her, that both of us are capable of things beyond our shitty upbringing."   
Saeyoung took a deep breath. "I'll try and I'll talk to her tonight. You're right about her being sharp. I'm sure she's worrying about my reaction. Even if 707 is the greatest actor of our time…well second best including Zen." He chuckled.   
Saeran snorted, "If you say so brother."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, its been a ridiculously long time since I update. I'm so sorry about that. I hope you enjoy.


End file.
